As Lewis mentioned, 'Eros is not a love that is self sustaining, it has to be work at, if this is the case, then what is true love? I believe to answer this question, one would have to explore all other forms of love. As I see it, true love that should be desired, is love that is unconditional aka Agape. If agape, as shown in scripture, is a self sacrificing love, then, it would make sense why this is the kind of love God has for his beloved. The question still remains, however, of how we, as people, can ever achieve this kind of love. I believe, the true form of agape for humans is not yet fully possible, but, the general idea can be achieved.
When it comes to love, it is fact that you will not always be "in love" with your mate (in love meaning, the point in which you are head over heels for one another). But, it is also true that, for a christian, divorce should not be an option (at least, for me, I believe this to be the case), but there will be times of disagreements, so then, what do you do? This, I believe, is where the other forms of love come in. Combining affection and friendship love with Eros will help to sustain a marriage in times of turbulence. If true love (Agape) is love that alway sacrifices (I believe it is), then a good relationship is one that is reflecting a love like this. For example, if a couple were deciding to paint their house but each had different colors in minds, I believe this would be a pointless thing to debate about; as I see it, one person ( in this case the guy just because I am a guy and this is what I will do) should sacrifice their desires (paint preference) for the other person. Though I have never being married or even being in a relationship (I mean boyfriend, girlfriend kind of relationship), I do believe this kind of sacrificing will eliminate the little disagreement that can build up.
Of cause, I believe the most important part of any Godly relationship is God. For this reason, I believe the best thing a single person can do to find "the right one" is just to continue following God. One thing I have learned in my short adult life is this, If you are a person who is truly following Christ, you will not attract a person who is not (unless your idea of following Christ is living comfortably in your suburban home, with your kids, going to church every sunday, waking up everyday to go to your 9 to 5 and never seeking to do anything outside of your safe neighborhood for the glory of Christ aka the American dream, then chances are you will find someone who also wants to live the American dream, though, they may not be following Christ). For me (If it matters) I desire to go anywhere Christ may send me to spread his name, this means that I am fully committed to a life of hardship if that is what the lord would have me do. So, as it goes, I believe the person God is going to bless me with, will be a person with the same mind set. As it follows, I can tell a person who can serve Christ alongside of me after a few times of talking to them (unless they lie to me about who they are, in which case, I trust Christ to not make a relationship with such a person workout). It wouldn't be that I deem them not worthy to be with me (that would be stupid and and prideful), it would just simply be that they are not thinking of serving Christ the same way He gave me desire to serve him. Their desire would be what God puts on their hearts.
"A RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL LAST IS ONE THAT REVOLVES AROUND CHRIST AND DOESN'T MAKE THE OTHER PERSON a god." Trying to make them god is putting on them a burden they, nor you, can carry.
Yemi, I really liked your last sentence about not making your lover/spouse a god because that's not something either of you were meant to handle. I think that's a common mistake in romantic relationships. Your lover shouldn't save you, shouldn't BE the great adventure of your life, but instead should be your companion and best friend on the adventure that IS life.
ReplyDeleteI especially like your third paragraph and how you talk about the problem of divorce. I agree with you how you said that divorce isn't an option and a marriage should be sustained with affection and friendship. It just reminds me of our teachers and how the Ribiero's marriage shines with affection and friendship that we can see everyday in class.
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